Uncontrolled Anger

November 19th, 2008 · No Comments

Unfortunately, as we head into the holiday season, many of us feel some sort of anxiety about getting together with family members that we may have successfully avoided earlier in the year. Even those that enjoy the general festivities of the season may have one or two individuals that they would rather not be near for fear revisiting some unresolved anger issues that have a tendency to erupt at this time.

Unresolved anger tends to lead to resentment and it can drain a person emotionally. It is so important to be honest with yourself about your emotions. Ask yourself, “Is it really anger or something else?”

Uncontrolled anger is an emotion that can consume a person and manifest itself physically, if it isn’t dealt with.

What Causes Anger?

The cause of anger can be a result of many different things:

In many instances there is fear or the feeling of being betrayed by the other person that may affect you.
It can be from a feeling of frustation that you feel if you feel that you are not understood.
You may feel that, in general, life has treated you unfairly and can make you even more sensitive to this during this time of year.
It can be as simple as feeling overwhelmed when you don’t get enough rest. This can be a problem during this time of year.

There are various ways to deal with anger that can be more positive for you. One of the ways that I find effective is by using some sort of meditation technique such as:

Monitor Your Breathing (by being conscious of your breathing, you will find that the anger usually dissipates almost immediately)
Counting Backwards (gives you some time to cool off)
Soothing Music (I like soothing nature sounds where I visualize my favorite serene environment)
Meditation Tapes (A good meditation tape will take you away from the place of anger)
Sports Activity (My family likes to play the Wii video games, that way we can concentrate on the game itself, I is a positive way to vent out any (potential) frustrations while also getting in some exercise after a full meal.)

You should look into the best methods for you.

Communication

Do all you can to communicate with others about your anger. This often needs to be done after you have had time to think it though.

Remember that dealing with anger in the heat of the moment can result in even more issues. You may regret the things you may say or do when the emotion overtakes you.

Parents

Parents (and, really, all adults) need to remember that your children are watching you. You set examples for them.

If you may find yourself in power struggles with them. You may want to take a look at how you are dealing with anger.

The Catalyst

Those that struggle with anger issues may not realize it. If you know someone with anger issues you owe it to them to bring it to their attention.

Let them know you are there to offer them support. They may have been told, many times before by friends, family members, or employers but sometimes, they’re just one person away from getting help. That person may be the catalyst to help that person down a happier life.

That person may be you!

If you feel that you are frequently angry over things you need to get help as well.

Seeing Red Fire

You may fear that others may think you are crazy to seek counseling but this can be one of the most effective ways to deal with anger. Having a professional, that you do not know, can help you to deal with your anger in a more effective manner. The people that really care about you will admire you for seeking help.

If your way of dealing with anger is yelling and screaming, you need to ask yourself how that helps the situation. A counselor can help you to identify why you get angry, you may be surprised, usually, it’s not what you thought it was.

Interestingly, by going to see a professional counselor who you do not know, it actually is easier to see your issues as it really is. Then, it will be so much easier to work out those issues that trigger your uncontrolled anger.